Van Loo Ventures

Tara’s Matins (aka "Morning Devotions" shared with the village) from April 11, 2011

Brennan and I just returned from a road trip to southern Utah and Northern Arizona with Scott and Lori. One thing I loved about this trip was all the time in the car to listen to the radio (we put on over 3,000 miles). I love public radio and miss it dearly when I’m in the village. However, there is such a thing as too much news, and I probably went through some culture shock after only being exposed to internet news for all these months. I listened to so many news broadcasts that it became overwhelming: the nuclear crisis in Japan continues, as the death toll rises and the degree of radiation’s effects is still unknown; militants in the Ivory Coast attack a village, killing nearly a thousand; more than 50 people killed on Tuesday when gunmen attacked a local government building in Tikrit, Iraq; Gadaffi forces move into Misrata, Libya, trapping terrified civilians inside the city. I could go on.

I was driving home somewhere in Eastern Oregon or South western Idaho when the weight of all the news we’d been listening to caught up with me. I couldn’t listen anymore. I turned on my i-pod instead. I felt helpless, unable to influence such massive politics and brokenness. We should make a donation to send to Japan, I thought. I could email my senators, I thought. I have to do something, I thought.

Just about that time my good ol’ Indigo Girls, one of my favorite music duos, came through my speakers:

We get to be a ripple in the water
We get to be a rock that's thrown

Hmmm.

But I'm OK if I don't look a little closer
I'm OK I if don't see beyond the shore
I'm OK I don't have to do the killing or
Know what the killing is for

We're floating we're swimming
And at this moment we are forgetting
What we caused what it takes
For one perfect world when we look the other way

We're talking we're driving
And in this moment we are denying
What we caused what it takes
For one perfect world when we look the other way

Pretty blunt, huh? But the song doesn’t end this way.

If you can’t see beyond the myth of isolation
And the miracle of daybreak doesn't move you anymore
Connect the points and then see the constellations
As the night comes down on the reservoir

We're swimming we're floating
And in this moment we are beholden
To what we've caused to what it takes
For one perfect world
Can we learn to live another way?
It’s one perfect world
Can we learn to live another way?

We get to be a ripple in the water.

We get to be a ripple in the water. Even though the hate and hurt is overwhelming, I do have a choice about whether the miracle of daybreak is still a miracle to me, about not living in ignorance about the world’s brokenness, but holding it close as I live and love the ones I’m with each day. As I drove on, silent tears streamed down my face beneath my sunglasses.

Another Indigo Girls song came on.

Dust in our eyes our own boots kicked up
Heartsick we nursed along the way we picked up
You may not see it when it's sticking to your skin
But we're better off for all that we let in

Lost friends and loved ones much too young
So much promises and work left undone
When all that guards us is a single centerline
And the brutal crossing over when it's time

(I don't know where it all begins)
(And I don't know where it all will end)
(We're better off for all that we let in)

We're in an evolution I have heard it said
Everyone's so busy now but do we move ahead
The planets hurting and atoms splitting
And a sweater for your love you sit there knitting.

I've passed the cemetery walk my dog down there
I read the names in stone and say a silent prayer
When I get home you're cooking supper on the stove
And the greatest gift of life is to know love

(I don't know where it all begins)
(And I don't know where it all will end)
(We're better off for all that we let in)

To me, this song was saying “Hold the hurt close, Tara, your heart has room for it. Let it in. But keep living, too.” Again, what I realized is that I do have today. I can send a check and email my senator, but if I have not love, I have nothing. Love knits. Love walks the dog. Love cooks. It’s so ordinary we forget it’s love.

A hundred miles later we pulled off the freeway for a bathroom break in the gravel parking lot of a small-town diner. Lori and I were both driving our cars at that point. We rolled down our windows to check in and she asked how I was doing. “Okay,” I said. I shared with her and Brennan that I had been thinking about all of the world’s brokenness and that I realized that what I can do today is love the ones I’m with. “Isn’t that the name of a song or something?” We laughed, probably at the fact that my “deep insight” was best coined with a phrase from pop culture. “I think it’s the name of a book!” We laughed again. “Love the one you’re with.” Love laughs, too.

Let us pray. O God, in the face of the world’s ills, in view of the symptoms of sin and brokenness that surround us, renew our spirits, Lord, with faith, hope and love. Amen.

Prayer:
http://blog.sojo.net/category/verse-and-voice/

Songs:
Ray, Amy and Emily Saliers. “Perfect World” and “All That We Let In.” Sony, 2004.

2/27/11

First the big news, Tara and I will be at Holden for another year!!! We’ll be here till July 2012. I got a promotion to Utilities lead from utilities assistant, which means a little more responsibility, and I am looking forward to it. Tara will continue to work in the craft cave.

The winter has been quiet and enjoyable, and I couldn’t ask for much more. I skied every day this past week, not a bad way to get some daily exercise. I get done with work around 4:00 throw on my boots and skins on my skis, skin up for 20-30 minutes, take a run in beautiful powder, and head in for dinner. After 2 months of not being used, my powder skis are finally back in action! Last week I went out with a couple of guys to the Big creek valley, about 2 hours from the village. We found a huge open slope with a foot of powder, and made a day of taking laps up and down the slope, it was amazing. During the few hours we were out there we saw three avalanches come down on the east facing slope on the other side of the valley. As the sun warmed the rocks and snow, it loosened and started to drop, which made for some incredible sites and sounds. We decided to get off the slope we were on well before the sun hit its upper reaches, which coincided nicely with the time we wanted to leave to be back in time for dinner, you can’t miss pizza night.

I was planning on heading up to big creek yesterday to explore more of the valley. I had my gear packed, and was about to take off when I remembered that I was responsible for power outages, I checked with the other people who can turn the power back on and they all had plans, so I had to stick around the village. But I had a decent back up plan, brewing another batch of beer. So I took a quick ski run with Brian covering outages for an hour, then I dove into my newest hobby.

I have found brewing a great way to spend some time. It is a long 8-9 hour process, but it is relaxing, and I love investing the time to make a quality product. Since we don’t do too much cooking up here, this is a good outlet for making something and being involved in our food, or in this case drink. At Holden it is very economical to make 5 gallons of beer. The hops we picked in September, I use the yeast slurry from someone else’s beer after it has been fermenting for a week, and the 12 pounds of barley cost two bottles of the finished product to our brew-master/barely supplier Terry. So it is free. It is better priced and better tasting than what you can buy in the store. Barley, hops, yeast, and water not a bad way to spend your time in winter. Maybe some time I’ll document the whole process and post it here, we’ll see.

In about three weeks we are taking off to Southern Utah and Northern Arizona to visit Arches, Bryce, Zion, and Grand Canyon national parks. We are going to hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and spend two nights down there.

bvl